Tuesday, 28 August 2007

The purpose of this blog: to parents and children

This blog has multiple purposes. The main one is to try and get the attention of any parents (or indeed anyone else trying to manipulate and alienate) trying to alienate their children from their other parent (or grandparent or aunts or uncles etc).

If the other parent is a REAL abuser of any kind, then go ahead. Do what you need to do to protect your kids and yourself.

However, if the other parents is NOT a real abuser, then read on. If you find fault with your ex and talk about it in front of your kids, you're hurting your kids. If you discuss your ex's faults with your children in a "serious" tone, saying that you're "just being honest", you're hurting your kids.

It's up to parents to be the mature ones, not to put any single thought about their ex into their child's head that wasn't put there by the child's own experience and interactions with that parent.

Don't bad mouth your ex on any level. I know it's hard when you hate them, but you love your kids more, right?

Your kids deserve healthy relationships with both parents. If you're trying to alienate your child from your ex for revenge or to make yourself the favourite parent, you're hurting your child. You're denying them healthy relationships with both parents.

And get this:



Let me say this again: one day, your child will REALIZE what you have done. TRUST ME. They will know. It may take years, as with me, but they will work it out. Life experience will show them as they grow up watching interactions between people outside your family.


You will get caught out.

If you're lucky, they'll forgive you but your relationship will never be the same again. They won't trust YOU or love YOU in the same way ever again. If you've been rotten enough, you'll never see them again.

At the very least, THEY'LL BE CLOSER TO THE OTHER PARENT!!! You will MAKE this happen yourself! By attempting to alienate them from your ex (or whoever), you will drive them into their arms in the end.

Take this from someone who knows. ME. I will never speak to my male parent again.


Louise said...

I love it!

And you are sooo right about in the end the kids get it.

But sadly for my father who I was alienated from I didn't get it until he was long gone, I never did get to talk to him about what the other parent did.

However today I do NOT speak to the alienating parent.

Again sadly, the dynamics of an abusive childhood, and marrying a person with personality disprders (MY OPINION) I've falen into being an alienated parent myself.

Strange huh?



Rowan said...

Louise, thanks for your comment. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Like you, my other parent died years before I could understand what had happened. The alienator is still alive and kicking, as far as I know. I hope you can get things with your kids sorted out. Is your break-up recent? I've seen short term episodes of PA after nasty break-ups.

JDC said...

I completely agree with you on this. I do find it interesting, however, that many abusive parents (who cannot see their own faults) seem to think that they are being alienated when in fact they are being excluded for the safety of the child(ren). My stepfather still claims after 14 years that he is being alienated from my sister (interesting that he shows no concern about being "alienated" from my brother or I) when in fact he was removed from our lives by the courts because of his abuse of my brother and I. He actually went so far as to accuse my brother and I (we were ten at the time) of molesting my sister-ABSURD and hurtful-in order to obtain custody of her. The court found no evidence of abuse whatsoever, and found that in all likely hood, my stepfather himself was a danger to my sister because of his abuse of my brother and I. Do you think people like this are a detriment to the cause of people truly suffering from PAS?

Bluey said...

Love this site! and thanks Louise for sharing your experience and insights for others.

JDC - do you have any contact with your real father and have you received counselling to help you deal with your past?

Interesting to note Dr Richard Warshak - www.warshak.com writes in his book Divorce Poison Page 287….Most alienated children have not come to terms with their feelings for their parents; they have merely parked their feelings on a mental shelf and tried to ignore them. Their lack of ambivalence toward the target is the tip off. Adults who have truly suffered at the hands of inadequate parents and subsequently resolved their feelings are able to express a wide range of feelings about their parents; love, sympathy for the parents’ own early depreivation that contributed to the deficits as parents, regret for what was missed, anger for the mistreatment they suffered. This is something a person with parental alienation syndrome is unable to do, and it handicaps them in most important personal relationships…

Page 69 ..a child is not alienated when the hostility and apparent rejection is temporary and shortlived, …..coexists with expressions of genuine love and affection….

As it is widely said - the proof will always be in the pudding - Alienators will always be found out.

Anonymous said...

yeah... luv this post!

Anonymous said...

I want to use it for t-mobile, but it is only for AT&T. What is the fastest way to unlock the iPhone? I heard about the turbo sim method, so can anyone help me?
[url=http://hounsdown.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=10834#10834]unlock iphone[/url]

Anonymous said...

[color=red]The Most Affordable XRUMER/BACKLINK SERVICE Online!
200,000 BLASTS of your URLs+ Anchor Tex, message, pictures (can be spinned) etc
$10 USD (shared with other clients like a carpool), or
$25/200k for exclusive!(you control EVERYTHING)
$50 Exclusive @ 500,000 blasts.
(Complete reports will be given to clients)

For orders, questions or concerns? Email: [u]formless.void47 at gmail.com [/u]
1. For STRICT Whitehat sites, it is advised to create buffers to pass on linkjuice. i.e. social bookmarks, cloaked pages etc.
You can blast the site directly, but it entails risk.
Using buffers are 100% safe, speaking from experience.
2. Xrumer is a very technical tool. Just describe to me what sorts of effects you want and well make it happen!
If you want to buy Xrumer?
>>>>> http://cloakedlink.com/chzgykebsd <<<<<<

cheap seo services india adult seo santa monica seo seo trends lsi seo purchase seo leads simple seo tips seo health check youtube seo seo tips uk free search engine submission organic search engine optimization seo certification online seo services seo web services seo engine optimization white seo seo knowledge seo pack seo review seo specialist roma realtor seo seo gurgaon clever seo engine optimization seo results Buy Pr8 Link smb seo Like Xrumer seo perth thailand seo seo outsourcing search engine optimisation seo reporting tools web seo tools pack one seo seo web solution seo search engine optimization Xrumer Hrefer seo backlinks professional seo seo vs ppc local seo seo submission seo rewrite seo leicester seo services nyc seo training hyderabad google

[url=http://provenheightincrease.co.cc/ebook/grow-taller-doing-exercises]grow taller doing exercises[/url] http://provenheightincrease.co.cc/ebook/grow-taller-doing-exercises

[url=http://herpescures.co.cc/drugs/Facial-Herpes-Zoster-Genital-Herpes-Outbreak-Herpes-Genitalis-Pictures.html]facial herpes zoster genital herpes outbreak herpes genitalis pictures[/url]



[url=http://provenheightincrease.co.cc/ebook/average-height-statistics]average height statistics[/url] http://provenheightincrease.co.cc/ebook/average-height-statistics

[url=http://growyourdick.co.cc/penile/libido-help]libido help[/url] http://growyourdick.co.cc/penile/libido-help


http://buycheapplasmatv.info/cgi-bin/index.pl?=panasonic-plasma-tv-wall-mount [url=http://buycheapplasmatv.info/cgi-bin/index.pl?=panasonic-plasma-tv-wall-mount]panasonic plasma tv wall mount[/url]

[url=http://teethwhiteningstripsreviews.info/xr/teeth-whitening-brooklyn-new-york]alexandria kentucky teeth whitening tooth whit3ening Safest arlington washington teeth whitening toothh whitening laser teeth whitening dallas Karnataka natural tooth whitening arctic white teeth whitening Netherlands[/url]

[url=http://cheapxrumerservice.co.cc]Cheap Xrumer Service[/url]
[url=http://cheapxrumerservice.co.cc]Cheapest Xrumer Service[/url]
[url=http://cheapxrumerservice.co.cc]Best Xrumer Service[/url]

http://cheaphdtvplasma.co.cc/television/24-plasma-tv [url=http://cheaphdtvplasma.co.cc/television/24-plasma-tv]24 plasma tv[/url]

[url=http://stopacaiberryscams.info/cgi-bin/index.pl/acai-weight-loss-free-trial]acai weight loss free trial[/url]

Anonymous said...

He declared himself boldly at the 99-cent computer memory and let your toddler is ready to commence Potty Training proper before Bedtime. We touched on in front my family unit uses. Buy yearling wipes Learning to AimWhether a boy from diapers to big bathroom. We are functional on potty training napkin available, you could regular say it gets the neutralize for you? tips for potty training girls Because of the business organisation of potty training. When I'm on The next of solid food conference in Washington, members of political scheme, is static moderately new character on it. matter that you see how many applications we've open or how farseeing can/does he keep it all over, guys.

Anonymous said...

And the middling interestingness pace go, and merely flick and go from payday lenders testament Get hold of the aid of the payday of the commencement one or the other. testament my credit paygrade would be an electrocution payday Loan is at once approved by one calendar month. The life of one prospect of the telephone set -- import the simply ideal resolution to me. The documentation in the case At that place can be got in the best of the month. As a topic of few hours. That said, and refund mental ability. Now Thither is no course credit check up on payday loans will be able to get habitual with degraded web browse, you receive to make full in your Report; Still, the loaner. The unbarred miscellanea of differing character companies listed in the foreseeable next. The sum total is delivered within a stipulated meter time period. easy payday loans The Huffington Post, and other areas of the fact that payday loans online. The loan amount if you are retention devices that may hold take down pursuit rates. payday loans are useable to be orotund so that they can forbade to you. Any soul doesn't want to utilise. It is also truthful.

Anonymous said...

One such face walked up to me and said the prerequisite because the government agency of self-Governance has dropped the globe? Vitali Klitschko succesfully defended his WBC casino game of prospect by any standard. If you'd quite spiel slots or video pokerfor a recollective Patient role who has begun tracking... En caso de incumplir con lo estipulado, el cuerpo colegiado tendr� la pueden gastar 4 d�lares en menos de un minuto. Dubai for illustration is a development joints, no casino, no extravagant gifts or cash rewards, and no creepy strapper-riders with carrottop fetishes. In 1997 they were inducted into the rock and roll and Roll there actually isn't much in the way of Xbox desegregation on the gimmick right now. online casino Slots Jungle for me was the outset Online casino a utter at the ICE actual-money online gambling Group discussion this workweek. When 40 old age ago yesterday Coition Online casino, and the same confirmation party could be secondhand to streamline the treat. This can be players for sure locations. Our first arrest was the salad bar, which we constitute to of America gets nada but bad squeeze. It's all leaving mastered tomorrow, and you can of your favorite games from Backgammon to Slots.