I have been wishing there was some way I could know how my Mum would feel if she knew how I feel at the moment - how sorry I am for being such a (manipulated and abused) little git to her. I have a faith, as I've mentioned before, and I have been praying for weeks for some kind of experience or answer or even a dream (well, Joseph had them!) to let me know how she feels right now (because life goes on after death). Nothing was happening. I felt like I was in limbo.
And then Louise posted this.
Louise said...
I am so sorry for what you are feeling, I also feel those feelings often.
I am not only analienated mother, I was an alienated child as well.
It took me until I began going through it with my children to figure it all out.
My target parent is also in a better place without my having cleared things up before it was to late.
I know he looks down on me and forgives me as your Mum forgives you, it wasn't our fault.
Just as I forgive my children, it isn't their fault, how could I want for them to suffer grief for the way they treat me?
I can't.
31 December 2007 01:07
Louise, you answered my prayer. I've read your blogs too and I've appreciated all your comments on mine but what you said really, really struck a chord with me. I know that this is how I'd feel if I were in my Mum's position, and I feel certain that this is how she would feel too. THANK YOU so much. It took me a few days to realise this. I was actually with my counsellor when it hit me. THANK YOU. You've set my mind at rest.
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3 comments:
Awwww you made my day!!!
Thank you, I'm so glad I was able to offer some help, I know what you are going through, yet I also know what Mum was going through.
xoxoxo
Rowan,
I am sure your mother knew it was not you and not your fault.
I am an targeted parent myself and I do not blame my children at all. I know they are stuck in the alienating parent's deception and brainwashing.
I am in a few groups for parents dealing with PA/PAS and trust me they do not blame the child.
I am sure your Mom does not blame you and understood.
I am sorry you did not get the chance to resolve it. But I am sure she is looking down on you and trying to help guide you.
I will keep you in and your mother in my prayers.
Bob
I have to share this with you,I feel it was very interesting since I said I know my dad's looking over me and forgives me, and yesterday you published your comment so it all kind of falls together with this story.
Chris, my oldest son,[who was the only child NOT alienated] went shopping last night, turns out after he purchased his couch and was giving the guy his last name the guy said OMG I knew you looked familiar.
Chris said Huh? The guy said you reminded me of someone and I couldn't remember who. Now it came to me! Are you related to Sonny [that was my fathers name the target parent] my son said yeah, that was my grandfather.
The guy said I swear I'm not shoveling &^% but you have the same mannerisms as he did.
And my son DOES REMIND ME OF MY DAD A LOT!
I guess I have my dad's mannerism and my son is my clone so he has them as well.
Anywho, his couch had fallen apart, years ago and he had to break down and buy a new one.
Then this, the guy is my dad's old dear friend and he gave it to chris for 600.00 instead of 1500.00, for the discount and letting me know you ARE watching over us and I am correct you forgive the nasty alienated child I was when I was growing up.
THANKS DAD!!!
xoxoxoxoxox
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