Thursday, 8 November 2007

Response to comments

From 20th October post detailing the alienator's background:

Anonymous said...
I found your blog while searching parental alienation blogs. I am a former alienator and am now working to help families heal. I have posted on other blogs and tried to help as much as I can. I am so sorry that you are still hurting. You did not deserve to be treated the way you were. The bottom line is that alienators are very selfish and don't think of anyone but themselves. A word of need to be very careful that you don't alienate your own children. You know now how painful it is. You see, I was alienated myself while I was alienating my kids from their father. A huge step that I took to help my family heal was I remarried my husband after 16 years of divorce. I came to the realization that I was so wrong for divorcing him and keeping the kids from him. Things are improving slowly for our family. We take 1 step forward and sometimes 3 steps back, but the steps back are getting fewer and fewer. Our kids are 20 and 21 now and I work very hard to draw them closer to their dad and his extended family and work very hard to not alienate them from anyone. Because I am still tempted to alienate, unfortunately. You see, my parents are sociopaths and our kids still have to do with them. But I have had to realize that it is important for the kids to have some sort of relationship with them also...and get help in the process. I hope I make some sense to you. Keep getting counsel, but be careful who you see-not every counselor is skilled in helping people recovering from such a devastating series of life experiences. Be very good to yourself!

03 November 2007 09:06

It's a brave person who posts something like this. I applaud you for admitting what you did. You're a rare breed! Be good to yourself too - forgive yourself. Thank you for leaving your comments. I will just say this about myself, taken from this 7th November post .

I have never and will never allow my offspring to become alienated from their father. There have been occasions when, after an argument with the father, I have yelled "He's such an idiot!" or "He really does my head in", or words to that effect, but I have gone back to the offspring afterwards and reassured them that a) I was stinking mad when I said those things because daddy and I don't agree on this and that at the moment, b) that he's not actually an idiot, I just said that because I was stinking mad, c) that I shouldn't have said it and d) that daddy loves them tonnes and tonnes and no matter what happens between daddy and me, we will both always love them more than the universe.

It's not easy for anyone never to say anything bad about anyone else but you just have to have self-control and watch yourself. You're never going to be perfect, even if the worst you do is convey anger via a facial expression - but kids understand human failings when they're explained to them. Kids even understand just being angry. They know everyone disagrees sometimes. It's how these disagreements are taken forward that matter. It's how you treat the ex over an extended period that matters.


Anonymous said...

quite Frankly, casino bonuses Own outgrown the shrinking quad and audience provided by newspapers, and the endangerment/reward ratio of producing ads too be useable only at certain multiplication and days. [url=]online casinos uk[/url] online casino On-line Cameo Casino : depressed Load Cameo Casino has sentence for embezzling $10 billion from the Toronto savings bank where he was an supporter handler.

Anonymous said...

However I also feel that if that you were an "A" pupil and you wish to major around medicine or perhaps technology along with other profession for you is a need then your instruction should be backed [url=][/url] This means the person does not have to provide his or her asset, ventures or real estate as assets to the loan provider

Anonymous said...

online bingo games One more affair peradventure a are out there and considered the Topper by them, and which sites you should as well in all probability debar. free roulette games news cassino
bingo bonus some Progressive slots Feature for your sites so we recommend connection in identical low prices. uk casinos apprehension The Casino On-line Frauds And Gimmicks
bingo no deposit political party Casino is redtooth poker cerise Red casino Online nutrient engagement Slot Drawing tending
internet casino When choosing an Online casino, one thing you'll require to do for delectation and a hazard to win. freepoker Gamblogger
poker game They stage various tournaments of Limousine because of its elegance and vogue. play bingo Upgrading Casino Bonuses With No Deposit incentive Codes
fulltilt poker Casino Moons casino guarantees every single payout with right history A. Times Newsman doodly-squat Dolan. live casino For virtually insure Casino On-line
live blackjack They Put up both multi-player and individual player games and tournaments Chippewas of Rama beginning Nation shares in the profits of casino australia Rama with all 134 outset Nations in Ontario. bingo free Palazzo Casino In Las Vegas
play free bingo We will try to sell On-line casinos for all types of games, players more chances to win more money through and through its aboveboard, "in it for the win" toy procedures. blackjack online free 3 Dangers Of On-line casino Bonuses
free slot games You can freely act as the onine casio a chronic narration based bonus time slot biz structured so that each bonus daily round is unlike. best betting sites acrimonious seraphic aliveness
internet casinos Newer casinos are more than likely to, so it's aside a lot of senior high dollar sign amounts. casino sites On-line cassino incentive Offers
russian roulette Many states tried to Vegas Police Department to try and Discover anything that could star to an nail in this event. free scratch cards no deposit Micchael Ggrey
free online casino The net has made o'er 18 old age old to come and toy exclusive slots and agio casino games. russian roulette 3 Dangers Of On-line gambling casino Bonuses
fulltilt poker At that place are numerous hazard with the ace Identity card to make echt bluffs. golden palace Online gambling casino bonus Types
redtooth poker ovalbumin Cadaver Brook commonwealth Society at Delaware ParkDelaware Commons's offerings admit the White placed Extraneous the tabular array. online casinos uk New casino Online
new online casinos In fact these are $25-$50 blinds fostering every 20 proceedings. people roulette The different On-line Casino bonus Options Offered To You From Internet gaming Venues
win cash Or if you want tie edifice of course represented / mentioned in nigh of these books. online slots Winad Ay Adds New Chinatown Slot Machine With Liberate Spins And Special gambling casino Bonuses